28 Reasons the Irish are Better than You

 

Just in time for St. Patrick’s Day, we list all the reasons you should be envious of Irish people…

 

1. They’ll patiently explain it’s St. Paddy’s Day, not St. Patty’s, one hundred times or more…

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… and not kill you. (Unlike Liam). Image: Ireland Memes

2. Irish people are awesomely loyal to Tayto crisps (chips)3_ORErOBi

 

Look at this fella, Mr. Tayto in all his glory. Taytos are so loved they’ve got their own theme park: that’s crisps dedication. Other countries, take notes and keep up.Image: infomatique

3. The Irish have managed to make coffee even better…

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Just add Jameson… Image: mariusreppe

 

4. And bread’s better in Ireland too…

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This is soda bread, made with sodium bicarbonate instead of yeast. It is delicious, the end. Image: tonyhall

 

5. And tea…

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Barry’s tea is the way to go – it’s one of the things the Irish miss most abroad, and Ireland itself is world’s third biggest tea-drinking nation, beaten only by Morocco and Turkey. Basically, Ireland owns you on drinking tea. Image: Barry’s Facebook

 

6. And breakfast…

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What makes the Irish breakfast fry-up different from its English, Scotch and Welsh brothers? Black and white puddings: the former’s made with pig’s blood, the latter without. Sounds “gross”? You just don’t have the cojones to eat blood for breakfast and enjoy it. Wimp. Image: Jon Juan

 

7. And fizzy drinks…

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You’re missing out if you’ve never had red lemonade. Try TK or Finch’s.

 

8. Plus the Irish invented whiskey

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Pipe down, Scotland. Old Bushmills Distillery on the north coast has had a license to distil since 1608, the oldest in the world. Image: Robotskirts

 

9. Irish people use language way better than you do

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Jaysus! Image: Keepcalm-o-matic

 

10. Irish names have far cooler meanings than yours
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Basically the cast of Game of Thrones.

 

11. And Irish people can reference everything back to Father Ted

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…Even when clashing with riot police in Poznan. Image: via Imgur

 

12. Irish pop music goes from the sublime…

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Sublime in record sales terms, even if U2 aren’t your cup o’ tay – 170 million plus albums sold since 1978! Image: Peter Neill

 

13. … to the nostalgic

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… if you grew up in the UK/Ireland in the 90s and 00s, aka the era of pop manager Louis Walsh’s reign of terror on the charts. Look at this: B*witched in TOTP magazine with a Boyzone fold-out! Amazing. Westlife were the biggest act, but extra points if you remember: Six, Samantha Mumba, Bellefire or Buffalo G.

 

14. …to the amazingly ridiculous

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If you haven’t heard of Jedward, you have a far less superior sense of humour than the Irish. Follow @planetjedward for more wise words from your favourite new twins who can’t sing.

 

15. The Irish invented Guinness

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The big one. First brewed in 1759, the silky back stuff doesn’t export well and really does taste better in Ireland. Canny way to get you to visit, eh?

 

16. And the felfie… farmer + selfie

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Ireland is singlehandedly taking selfies to the next level. Image: via BeansandToast on Imgur < click for more felfies

 

17. And the calf-park

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Advanced calf-parking technology. Image: Irish Memes

 

18. And some other important things…


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John Joly invented colour photography in 1894. Vincent Barry accidentally invented a cure for leprosy, which has cured 15 million people, and John Philip Holland launched the world’s first successful submarine in 1881 (pictured). Done anything like this recently? Didn’t think so.

 

19. Hurling is the world’s fastest field sport

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The Gaelic-origin game’s also been played for over 3000 years, so the Irish have a lot of practice on you.

 

Image: Johnno100

 

20. And Brian O’ Driscoll, the world’s best rugby player is Irish

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Brian O’Driscoll is the most-capped player in rugby union history, and the highest try-scorer in Irish rugby. Here he is visiting a fan in hospital with the Heineken cup (2011).

Image: via Imgur

 

21. The Irish OWN ‘The Craic’

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What is the craic? You cannot see it. You cannot touch it. But you know when you’re having it. Like this baby.

 

22. Irish literary stars are the coolest

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James Joyce is the father of Modernist literature, Jonathan Swift a master satirist and Oscar Wilde the most famous Victorian play-write. Some favourite quotes…

Writing in English is the most ingenious torture ever devised for sins committed in previous lives. The English reading public explains the reason why. – James Joyce

Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody’s face but their own. – Jonathan Swift

The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death.- Oscar Wilde

 

23. Ireland’s got the world’s BEST airline…

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… at generating publicity. Who remembers the ‘planes with less toilets’ story, the ‘€1 to use the toilets’ story and the ‘standing-room-only planes’ story? Genius. Image: Aleksi Aaltonen

 

24. Polar bears originally came from Ireland.

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AKA the world’s coolest bears. Read about it here.

 

25. Irish Wolfhounds are bigger and better than your dog.

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The wolfhound is the world’s tallest breed of dog, and is so-named because it was used for hunting wolves. Duh. Image: Dux

 

26. Ireland has won Eurovision a record seven times

 

But the real winner is Riverdance (first performed at the 1994 contest), and quite possibly Lord of the Dance Michael Flatley’s bank balance…

 

27. And Penneys – Primark – changed high street shopping forever

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There are plenty of criticisms to be levelled at their model, but they’re responding. Admit it… most of us have succumbed to those sales at least once. Image: miguev-maps

 

28. Bottom line, Ireland is the world’s most green and beautiful country

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Maybe that’s why EVERYONE says they’re Irish? Image: via Imgur

 

Tell us what you love about Ireland in the comments…

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