How to make friends in hostels (even if you’re shy)
Travelling alone can be one of the most liberating things you’ve ever done, but let’s face it: walking into a room full of strangers and trying to make friends in a hostel can feel a bit like the first day of school. You’re moving around in a new environment, surrounded by people who already seem to know each other, and suddenly your confidence takes a knock.
If you’re shy, introverted or just don’t know how to start a conversation with people from all over the world, don’t worry! The great thing about a youth hostel is that you can socialise there. Most travellers are in the same boat, open to new people and just waiting for a reason to greet them. Plus, you don’t have to be the loudest voice in the room to find your people, as there are plenty of common rooms, group chats and events.
Here’s how to break the ice and make new friends, even if you’re not the outgoing type.
1. Choose social hostels that suit your mood
Not all hostels are the same. Some are quiet and ideal for digital nomads who want to work, while others are more social, with nightly events and communal meeting places. On Hostelworld, you can easily find hostels that fit this vibe. Read verified reviews to get a feel for the atmosphere, check out the events each hostel offers, and the hostel pictures are also a great way to find out if it’s more social or quiet.
Want to get a head start? Download the Hostelworld app and join the hostel’s group chat before you arrive. You can say hello, ask who wants to join you for dinner or take part in an activity that others are planning. This takes the pressure of having to introduce yourself in person for the first time.
2. Take part in the activities at the hostel, even if you don’t feel like it
Activities like hikes, karaoke nights, pub crawls and yoga classes are practically designed for meeting people. Even if you’re tired or hesitant, showing up (even just once) can lead to spontaneous conversations and shared memories. You don’t have to be the loudest person in the room, your mere presence is enough to open the door to new contacts. Someone is sure to approach you to start a conversation.
Most hostels offer daily or weekly events, so ask at reception or check the hostel notice board when you arrive. Even better, use the Hostelworld app to find out in real time what’s happening during your stay.
3. Take the first step… It doesn’t have to be a big step
You don’t need a clever catchphrase to make friends. Sometimes a simple “Hey, where are you from?” is enough to start an interesting conversation. Compliment someone on their backpack badge or ask them if they’ve tried a local dish.
The beauty of hostel culture is that everyone is open to new conversations, many are also solo travellers and want to socialise just as much. A little courage goes a long way.
4. Hanging out in the common rooms
You don’t have to force yourself to be the life of the party. If you’re in the communal kitchen, rooftop terrace, lounge or courtyard, you’ll have the opportunity to naturally start or join a conversation. Bring a book, cook a meal or just relax and someone will probably approach you at some point. It really is that simple.
Many hostel friendships are formed over a cosy breakfast or evening tea in the kitchen. No need to push, just be available and approachable.
5. Use group chats and apps to socialise in advance
If you don’t like approaching strangers, you’re not alone. With the Hostelworld app’s chat function, you can get in touch with other travellers staying in the same hostel or nearby before you even arrive. You’ll often find people planning excursions, chatting about restaurants or asking if anyone fancies a beer. Not only can you socialise with other visitors to the city, but you can also get to know your hostel mates before you arrive. This way, you’re guaranteed not to feel like you’re entering unfamiliar territory or staying with complete strangers. If you’re a bit of an introvert yourself, it’s certainly easier to get to know someone before you meet up to get the awkwardness out of the way before you arrive.
You can also find Facebook groups or WhatsApp chats for specific cities or regions. If you prefer to socialise digitally, this offers you a gentle introduction to the social side of hostel life.
6. Take part in a meal together or cook with others
There’s a reason why hostel kitchens are a social hub. Sharing a meal is one of the easiest ways to connect with other travellers. If your hostel offers family meals, sign up. If not, buy a few extra ingredients and ask if anyone fancies cooking together.
Cooking together, even something simple like pasta or pancakes, gives you time to chat, laugh over burnt toast and maybe plan the next day together. Food really does bring people closer together, and that’s an international motto.
7. Accept invitations, even if you’re nervous
Someone on their way to the beach? On the way to a hike? For a drink after dinner? Just say yes. You don’t have to think twice or commit to the whole day, even a 20-minute coffee can lead to a great conversation.
If you say ‘yes’ more often, your confidence will grow over time. And the more you engage in conversation without pressure, the more natural it will become to socialise with others. Plus, you’re visiting a new country or city for this very reason: to create new memories, step out of your comfort zone and connect with yourself and the people around you.
8. Don’t be afraid to be honest if you’re shy
Believe it or not, admitting that you’re a bit shy or introverted can actually be a great icebreaker. People appreciate honesty and vulnerability, and many will probably say, “Me too!” or “Don’t worry about it!” You don’t have to pretend to be extroverted. Be yourself, and you’ll attract the kind of friendships that feel genuine and easy.
9. Leave room for going it alone too
Making friends in youth hostels doesn’t mean you have to be “on” 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Take time to relax when you need it. This will make you feel more comfortable and sociable when you are back in the common areas. Many travellers understand that they need to take time for themselves because it’s part of the rhythm of travelling.
If you’re someone whose social battery drains quickly, it’s okay to take a step back, connect with yourself and do something alone. You will then feel less stressed and exhausted and be ready to engage in any social experience when you return to the hostel.
🤝 FAQ: Making Friends in Hostels
What are the best hostel activities for meeting others?
Walking tours, pub crawls, yoga sessions, family dinners, and trivia nights are great low-pressure ways to meet people. Many of these are included or available for a small fee and are designed for group bonding. Check out our article on hostel activities that can help you meet new people.
Do all hostels have social events?
Not all, but many hostels offer daily or weekly activities. Download the Hostelworld app and look in the Events tab. Once you pick the city you'll be visiting and the dates, it will give you a list of all hostels and the events they will be hosting for those dates. It's a great way to immerse yourself in new experiences.
Can I meet people in a hostel without drinking or partying?
Absolutely. Many hostels offer non-alcohol-based events like movie nights, city walks, cooking classes, or game nights. You’ll find plenty of fellow travelers who also prefer low-key hangouts.
How do I join the hostel’s group chat?
Download the Hostelworld app and look for the chat feature in your booking. You’ll be able to join the group for your hostel and city, see what other travelers are up to, and get involved before you even arrive.
What if I’m too nervous to go to an event alone?
You're not the only one, and it gets easier each time. You can message the group chat first and ask if anyone wants to go together. That way, you’re already connected before the event starts.
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